Troubles of the Heart
by Dreamstar's Courage
Summary: Oakheart sees a beautiful shecat at a Gathering. Her name is Bluefur. She is from Thunderclan. He mustn't fall in love...


Troubles of the Heart

Summary: Follows the Oakheart/Bluestar relationship through Oakheart's POV. Very hard, since I'm a girl, and he's a male cat, so please don't flame if he's too girly for you.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Unless you see something unfamilar. That's mine!

"There's something too bad about being in Riverclan," Scorchedfur, my close friend said to me as we made our way to the Gathering.

"What?" I asked, tossing a glance at the sooty gray tom.

"Thunderclan." He said simply.

"Oh, yes," I sighed, "They are quite a problem with Sunnin-"

"Oakheart!" He exclaimed, rolling his eyes. "That's the only thing on your mind: duties. I was talking about something else."

"Huh?" I meowed cluelessly.

"She-cats!" He hissed, throwing a look at Crookedstar, to make sure he wasn't listening. "Thunderclan has the most beautiful ones in the forest. Haven't you noticed that?" He gazed into the distance. "Dappletail is my favorite."

I shrugged. Sure, I had noticed that Thunderclan had pretty she-cats, but every clan had some. What was so different?

A loud sigh escaped me when we reached Fourtrees. The three other clans were already there. Raggedstar, Tallstar, and(a/n: can't remember the real name...) Thicketstar were looking down on us.

"Look!" I growled at Scorchedfur. "Our lagging has made the whole clan late!"

Being the deputy of Riverclan had many responsibilities. Even though it had not even been a moon since I had been appointed, the the duties had caught up with me quickly.

But pride was in my step as I padded to sit with the other deputies, who, after looking surprised, gave me a quick congratulations.

Suddenly, the scent of Thunderclan filled my nostrils on my left side. Turning my head, I was stunned.

She was young, but strong. Her body was muscular, but not male-looking at all. The full moon hit her blue-gray fur and turned it silver. Her eyes were like chips of ice fixed on the leaders.

In short, she was the most beautiful she-cat I had ever seen.

And she was from Thunderclan.

"Oakheart, pay attention!" Deadfoot hissed from beside me. I tore my gaze away from the she-cat, and looked up.

For some reason, I couldn't focus at all. When nobody else was looking, I shot my gaze at her. I didn't understand it at all. She never noticed me, her tail curled in front of her paws, sitting at attention. Even though I didn't know her, it was obvious to me that she was dedicated to her clan.

Finally, the announcements ended. And something told me that I had to find out who the she-cat was.

She was seated with Dappletail, talking to her the older tortoiseshell queen. Even though many toms reveled Dappletail's beauty, to me, the blue gray cat was much prettier.

"Uh, hello?" I greeted her, almost like a question. Her angular face shot to me.

"Hello." Her reply was cautious. But then, her eyes showed recognition. "Oh, you're Oakheart, the new Riverclan deputy, right?"

I nodded my head rigorously. Even though Crookedstar had announced it everyone, the fact that she knew my name gave me a strange feeling. Or simply the fact that she had spoken my name.

"I'm Bluefur," She meowed, "Thunderclan warrior."

"Bluefur," I mewed awkwardly, "That's a nice name."

Confusion showed up in her icy blue eyes. "Er, yes," She replied, "I guess it is. I'm pleased with it."

Dappletail, giving a pur of laughter, padded off. 'No!' I wanted to wail to her. 'Don't leave me alone with her!'

Bluefur's scrutinizing gaze passed over me. I could almost feel the searing cold of her stare.

"So," She meowed, "What happened to your old deputy?"

"Oh, Scratchface?" I answered, trying to sound lighthearted. "He was old. The aches in his joints were getting to be to much."

"That's a shame," Bluefur remarked, "But I have a feeling that you will prove to be a great deputy."

Was it just me, or was there a trace of a pur in her voice.

"I want to be one," She sighed, "Once Thornfur retires, that is."

It was almost scary, the ambition that glowed in her eyes. Maybe that was why few of her clan mates talked to her, I had noticed. Only Whitestorm, a strong white warrior, seemed all that close to Bluefur.

We spoke lightly about the clans(not about secrets, just lightly) for the rest of the gathering, until Scorchedfur padded up to me.

"Oakheart!" He exclaimed, "I've been calling your for five minutes! Crookedstar wants to go _now_!"

"Sorry," I mewed to Bluefur.

"Don't worry," She purred, standing. "Thicketstar probably wants to leave as well."

For a moment, she paused, as if she was fighting something. That confusion showed in her eyes. Finally, as if she was still fighting, she blurted, "Good bye!" and pressed her muzzle against mine faster than lightening, then ran off to her clan.

A strange tingling consumed my body, and I just stood there for a moment.

"Come on, stupid furball," Scorchedfur hissed, pushing me along. As we got up in front of the rest of the clan and out of earshot, he whispered to me, "You are such a hypocrite!"

"I am not!" That tingling was all over now.

"Yes you are! Talking to that Thunderclan she-cat the _whole _Gathering."

I gave him an incredelous look. He matched it with a patronizing one.

"Yes, I was watching." Now, his yellow eyes were teasing. "_Don't worry. Good bye!_" His tone was trying to be sultry, the opposite of what Bluefur had been. Now it took on an overly exaggerated nervous sound.

"_That's a nice name! _Oakheart, you are such an idiot. But then, you do know how to pick them. Bluefur is an attractive cat. And yet... tsk, tsk. _You_, Oakheart, the loyal deputy, being so fond of a Thunderclan warrior, though you barely know her?"  
I shoved him with my shoulder. And yet...

Bluefur was stuck on my mind.

000

"Oh, Oakheart!" Bluefur's laughter rang in my ears a few Gatherings later.

"What?" I asked, my ears twitching back and forth. Lately, I had been spending all the time in the Gathering with her, talking to her, laughing with her...

"It's just," She mewed, "It's odd. Our clans are so torn with the Sunningrocks problem, but you and I are so alike. Both ambitious, both willing to do anything-"

"To reach our goals." I finished for her.

She nodded, suddenly subdued. What was in her icy eyes. Sadness? It couldn't be... Bluefur was never sad. Frustrated? Yes. Angry? Definately. But never sad.

At least, not when I was around.

"What's wrong?" I asked gently.

"It's just..." She gave a long sigh, then stood, gesturing for me to follow her deeper into the forest.

"Well?" I pursued my original question once we were seated.

"Cats ambitious like us..." Bluefur murmured, "We can acheive greatness, but when we strive for our goals so much, we may lose sight of what's truly important. That's what my mother, Rosetail, always told me."

I nodded, familar with the russet queen. "She seems very wise."

Bluefur's eyes shone with the compliment for her mother. "Thank you. She is."

We were silent for a long moment. But the gap was filled by... something. Suddenly, I found myself purring, and pressing my side against hers. She was numb for a moment, but then purred again.

"Bluefur, I-"

"O-oakheart!" She suddenly sprung away from me, eyes wide.

"Bluefur?" I yelped, startled myself. What had I been about to say to her, anyway?

"I-I have to go!" She exclaimed, racing off.

I stared after her. Something was very wrong.

But..very right.

000

"Bluefur!" I cried at the next Gathering. But since the other cats were talking so loud, she didn't hear me.

But I heard her.

"Whitestorm, thank you," She was whispering in the snow-colored tom's ear. They were seated so close to each other that their pelts were nearly touching.

What was she thanking him for?  
Something burned inside of me. What was it? Could it be... no... jealousy?

Bluefur suddenly caught sight of me. Her eyes were stony, and full of anger.

Why?

000

I had to find out what was going on with Bluefur.

And to do that, I needed to sneak into Thunderclan territory.

I crouched under the tall grass, trying to make sure that no one saw me. Especially not Bluefur.

Luckily, crossing the border had been uneventful, which was surprising, considering how Scorchedfur had been watching my every move lately.

Now to the hard part.

At the time, Thunderclan is the most powerful clan in the forest, and will probably always be. I'm the only cat who will truly accept that, I think. They are just to strong. I will always be loyal to my clan, and help them...

I hope.

Suddenly, I heard voices.

Bluefur. And...

Whitestorm.

That prickling feeling shot up my spine as they padded into view, side by side. This time, they were so close that their pelts _were _touching.

I held back a hiss.

"Bluefur," Whitestorm's pale green eyes bore into her icy blue ones. "You'll have to decide where you loyalties lie."

She scuffed her paws on the ground. "I know, Whitestorm..." She murmured, "But if anyone finds out how I feel, what will happen? I could be thrown out of the clan, or worse..."

"Either way," Whitestorm purred, pressed his head against her flank. "I'll _always _be loyal to you, Bluefur."

Her whole body tensed up. "Whitestorm..." She sighed, "You know..."

He lifted his head.

"Yes."

Something was up.

000

My 'visits' to Thunderclan territory became more and more often. I watched Bluefur, made sure that she and Whitestorm didn't get too close.

She was hunting alone. A picturesque vision, crouched down and stalking a mouse. I had forgotten to eat any breakfast that day, and my mouth was watering. I kneaded my paws against the ground.

Snap!

A twig!

The mouse ran up, and Bluefur's head shot up. Even worse, the wind changed, and she sniffed the air.

A low growl rumbled in her throat.

"Oakheart!"

Like a kit who was in trouble with his mother, I slunk out from behind the bushes.

"I can't believe this!" She hissed, looking around. "You are a warrior! No, not only that, a _deputy_! You know better!"

I looked at my paws. "I was watching you... and Whitestorm."

For a split second, her face softened. "You were jealous?"

"I don't know!" I snapped, "And I don't know why you have been so angry at me!"

She took in a deep breath, then looked me in the eye. I had never seen such a sadder looking cat.

Nor such a beautiful one.

She padded a few steps closer to me. My whole body was hot.

"Oakheart, I was not angry at you..." She sighed, "I was angry at myself."

"Why?" I whispered.

"Because," Bluefur murmured. "Oakheart... it's wrong that we're so close. It's wrong that you snuck in to spy on me. And..." She paused, her eyes on mine, and then continued. "It's wrong that I love you so much."

For a moment, I was silent, then, I found words.

"Bluefur," I whispered, "I understand. For... I love you too."

The look in her eyes was a mixture of sadness and... love.

She pressed her body against mine again, like before, but different.

"Oakheart," She sighed, "You know that love between the clans is forbidden."

I closed my eyes.

"I know. But I don't care."

000

Moons past. Bluefur and I met at Gatherings, and the occasional border-crossing visits. Then, one day...

She looked incredibly nervous that Gathering. She hadn't even bothered to groom herself, for her blue gray fur was in little clumps.

"Bluefur," I purred, padding up to her. "You look like you need to talk."

"Um, yes, I certaintly do need to talk." She fixed me with that gaze. "With you. In the forest."

We walked off into the shadows, and sat facing each other.

"Oakheart," She said in a voice between a pur and a distraughtmeow. "There's no easy way for me to tell you this... but..." She looked deep into my eyes. "I'm having our kits."

My heart felt like a jumble of emotions. The first was bursting with joy. Bluefur was having our kits! Then, there was fear. What if something went wrong, and she died? Of course... guilt. I was now... well, part of me would never be loyal to my clan again.

But finally, I just raced up to her, purring.

"That's great!"

"Well," She admitted, "It is. But it's also bad. Very bad. Still..." She licked my cheek. "There's no one else's kits I'd rather have."

000

Another moon passed. I walked to my place as deputy, but looked for Bluefur. Finally, I saw her. She had Dappletail at her side, who was gushing.

"You'll love having kits!" She purred, "They're so sweet, tumbling around, nursing... and I've never been prouder than when my kits have become warriors!"

Bluefur was nodding every now and then. Her stomach, I noticed, was bigger, bulging a bit.

There was nothing different about the announcements, besides the fact that Thornfur was retiring.

"How are you doing?" I asked anxiously.

"Fine," She sighed. "But... Thornfur's retiring. I-I want to be the deputy. And I'm in the running to become it."

"But," I said, "Queens with kits never become deputies."

"I know," Bluefur whispered, "That's why we need a plan."

000

I was in Thunderclan camp. With Bluefur. She had snuck me past the patrol, and we were just outside the Queens' den.

"Now, remember," Bluefur whispered to me, "They're just a few days old. And one..." Sadness filled her eyes. "One is very weak. He... he may not survive."

We padded into the den, and I saw them. Three tiny kits. Two were strong and healthy looking, identical, except one was lighter. Both were blue gray, like Bluefur.

"The lighter one is the tom, Stonekit," Bluefur purred in pride, "The darker one is the one she-kit, Mistykit. And then..." Her voice changed, "The other is a tom. Harekit."

The final kit was much smaller and weaker looking than Stonekit and Mistykit. Harekit had a tabby coat like mine, and was nestled between the other two, for warmth. He probably could barely make his own.

"I-I have a plan..." Bluefur murmured.

"What?" I asked.

She looked into my eyes.

"Oakheart. In two weeks, when they're old enough to walk a bit, I'll take them to you. That queen you told me about, the one who lost all of her kits but one. Graypool. You'll tell her that you found them abandoned. You and her will bring them up as Riverclan cats, telling them that you two are her father and mother. Half will be true. I'll only be a different clan cat to them. Oh, and I'll tell the clan they were eaten by... badgers."

"Are-are you sure?" I stuttered. Her plan was so... wrong.

"Yes."

000

Bluefur stood on the other side of the river, our kits beside her. I was to carry them across the river.

Carefully, I dove in. This was it. Bluefur and I were to be gone.

I reached the riverside after what seemed an eternity of swimming. "Stonekit first," She sighed. Gently, she nosed him.

"Be a good strong little warrior, Stonekit."

I picked up the mewing scrap of fur and swam. He mewed and mewed, but I set him down on the other side, and went for Mistykit.

"Good bye, my one little daughter," Bluefur whispered, "Be as good a warrior as any tom, or better, for me."

I carried her across.

But when I was about to come back for Harekit, she shook her head.

"No. He's weakest. I'm his mother. I'll take him."

She knew something.

Numbly, I watched Bluefur brave the river, Harekit dangling from her mouth.

She made it, but I knew something was wrong. Bluefur licked Harekit slowly and repeatedly. Slowly, she stopped and looked up at me.

"He's gone."

I looked at the abby kit, sadness washing over me. He was so young. So fragile. Too young to die.

"I shall bury him on Thunderclan territory," Bluefur declared, "For he never became Riverclan. Take them, Oakheart."

I gazed into her eyes.

"This is it, isn't it? We'll never see each other like this again."

"Yes. We will." I saw a glimmer of hope in those chips of ice. "In Starclan." Then, she pressed herself against me for a moment, then pulled back.

"Oakheart, you're my first love. My _only _love. I'll never stop loving you. But, in life... we'll have to pretend this never happened.

I nodded. Then, slowly, touched my nose to hers.

"I love you, Bluefur."

"Forever, Oakheart."

She leaned down and licked the two living kits.

"I love you, my children."

I watched her take Harekit into her mouth and swim to the other side. As the beautiful queen buried our son, I knew one thing.

This would be the last time I would ever see her this way.

Or so I thought.

000

The boulder killed me as it fell on me.

_"Bluefur!" I cried out in my thoughts as that final jolt of pain went through me. She had long since became Bluestar, leader of Thunderclan._

_No one would be able to protect her from what was to come._

_Suddenly, I saw something in the darkness. A small light. It grew larger. And larger. Til I saw a magnificent tom. He was a large cat, with emerald eyes and a pelt of flame._

_His sad green eyes looked into my amber (?) ones._

_"Do not worry, Oakheart," He murmured, "You are having one last vision."_

_"Who are you?" I spat, "An angel of death?"_

_"I am Firestar." He said in a voice that was almost a roar, but a kind one. "The prophecised cat. The savior. Bluestar shall watch over me. I shall watch over her. And when the time comes, I shall take her place. And save the forest."_

_I stared. "Bluestar... Bluefur... she will die?"_

_"Yes." Firestar looked so sad. "But Starclan shall grant you two wishes. The first will be that, before she dies, Bluestar shall be able to know that her kits know their true mother. The other... you will know when it comes."_

_"What?"_

_But I was gone._

_000_

_I found myself sailing from Starclan. Into a tunnel. And at the end of the tunnel I saw... Bluefur. She was wet and hurt. Near dead. Her deputy, a ginger warrior called Fireheart, stood over her. _

_Suddenly, I was struck at his appearance. The sun hit his coat so that it looked like flame. And his eyes, desperate to help his leader, glowed ermerald._

_Firestar._

_And I knew what my other wish was to be._

_I suddenly noticed two other warriors standing over her. One was lighter, the other was darker. Both were blue gray. Their names were Mistyfoot and Stonefur._

_My kits._

_"Thank you, Firestar and Starclan," I whispered._

_"You shall be Firestar, the ligt of Thunderclan," Bluestar murmured. Her eyes turned to me. They were calm and loving._

_"Oakheart," She purred, I'm ready." _

_Her spirit stood and walked to me. She looked one more time at Fireheart. _

_"He shall be the greatest cat to have ever lived," She said, "For he has love."_

_"Bluestar!" Fireheart cried, "Don't go!"_

_"Fireheart," Mistyfoot sighed, "She's already gone."_

_Bluestar turned to me._

_"I am."_

_000_

_Well, I almost cried while writing this, but it's not as good as my 'I Live On In Him' story. Tell me which you prefer after you've read both, if you want. R and R!_


End file.
